cant sleep......

Insomnia is certainly confusing. Its hard to put down words when you are wide awake yet your as sleepy as a worked out dog. You know your sleepy and want to sleep for the next day. But the notion of sleep has just forgotten to exist in the mind frame of yours. Its like, you have forgotten how to sleep and chastised yourself into a form of waking forever. Distraught I stand at this point. Typing fast has become a nuisance for my hand. My eyes burn as hell for I have to stare at the computer and type in word after word after word. It’s a cunning and a wicked feeling, a game being played by sandman to keep me from getting a brisk of happiness. “Cannon in D” is buzzing out from my far away conceited and hidden speakers. I feel like killing myself and sleeping for the rest of time. But I cant…..maybe because I am way too proud to do it, and the other reason is that I am just too timid. I can see the shadow of my reflection behind me. The light is from my monitor and the millions of words and sentences that I have to fill. I am deluding high and dry….a nauseating head-ache, cold and sly……a swollen hand due to a insect bite……a foolish infantile mind, flying high like a kite. Its time to say goodbye to the one and only friend at this moment called loneliness. Its crafty and devious ways of conquering my memory banks are amazing. I remember all the times and ways and trickery it plays…..but disregard the times when its counterpart, the companionship, is mostly looming around me and giving me the pleasure you cant furnish in the best orgasm that you can have. Remember “Trainspotting”. The dialogue which actually helped me take up cigarette like it was a weapon to kill boredom and class was: “take heroin for example. Imagine the best orgasm you have ever had….multiply it by a thousand times…and you still cant get close to the feeling that heroin gives you”. Well, right now, I feel the same. Its so bizarre, my god. Anyways, think my sleepy head needs a rest…..fuck it…..am going to sleep.

April 12th, 2007. Nearly 5 in the morning. Oh, by the way Liverpool are in the semis of the UEFA Champions League....Yipee!!!!