Wish I could quit

A sudden rage,
A cunning sensation,
A drowning asphyxiation,
A buried inside craving,
A loud agitation,
A filter with smoke.
Unable to let it shave away,
Unable to clean the stench,
Fighting the lightning burning,
Troubling the veins in thought.
Attached to its every spell,
Lost in its myriad counts,
Flew in vain to the burning sun,
Normalcy forgotten, shyness lost.
Accused heavens,
Threw away spirituality,
Fought lords, in bored cause,
Confused eventuality.

Laughed with comrades of death,
Juggled my life for them,
Chiseling my own self,
With knives made of ash.
I wrote stories of the confusing smoke rings,
Inspiration, I seeker,
They blinded into,
Ha! They cried, I went deeper.

Now that you are here, so far away

Indians are not evolved enough when someone comes up with a crazy notion of driving all the way from Bangalore to Delhi and then back…for nothing. For a scrap of inviting adrenaline, for a drive and dive into the crazy lands of nowhere and everywhere, for a fast and furious fight to stay alive and never die….well, Indians will never understand. That’s the beauty of geniuses; they sort themselves from the ordinary by doing something no one has ever thought before of doing. But does genius and stupidity go hand and hand. Do they compliment each other, are they friends, or are they foes….who knows. Maybe and this I say from the wildest deduction, that Aditya is either the craziest son of a bitch alive or the genius in a vague and insensible way.

It’s been mere eight or nine months since I have met Aditya and he is not the type who will change you or effect you each time you have a resolute discussion with him. No Christmas blooms when he speaks, no firecrackers bursts out when he does something….in a summary, he is a bloke. Another brick in the Wall. One of the many, in any sense, in any world. The standing out of ordinary is a wish everyone dreams and fight to achieve. This was probably Aditya’s way to show the world, that he is no mundane person, not the regular ones, not the ones who you will introduce to your friends to like….in a line, kid just drove on his bike from Bangalore to Delhi. He is somewhere in Gujarat or Rajasthan at this point, rising away in his insane search of hope and passion.

‘Ideally’ is not a word you can use when this sort of game is fashioned. It takes balls, it takes heart and it takes a lot of concentration. Pardon me to be idiotic for blotting out my ego, because I was there in the first phase of his journey. I was with him till Pune, a city close to Bombay….a large city at that. I had reasons to take the trip though, unlike Mr. Aditya. That was the difference we possessed, he had a reason which he alone could justify to himself, whereas me being a rational, logical kid…had a solid reason, a reason to give back and prove myself right. But I question myself and sometimes find answers to them….question in the vein of “Why? Is he doing this? Who is proving himself to? Who is his mentor? Why?” Tell you the truth; I can answer them sometimes, when I use words that Aditya himself used. I can answer them when I am smoking the last cigarette of the night, a state when insanity and guilt seem to mingle and play a weird little game with your brain’s functionality. But most people, me included are ice boxes inside. Filled with regular impressions of regular ambitions and moves. Henceforth, you cant start comprehending how is Aditya’s heart going to be.

Beatles had a song called “Let it be”. Oh, how this synchronizes with the situation. Let people be as they are. Let people do, what they want to. Let people dream, what they want to. Let people have, what they deserve. Let people chase their heart, till they don’t fail. Just let it be.

Aditya, wherever you are, be safe and be awake….people are going to call you crazy, me included….but then again I am probably the biggest fan of Cobain and he was crazy enough to commit suicide to earn recognition for himself. Well, you are not far fetched; you have chosen to die on your bike.


“Now that you’ve come so far away,
All those stuck away from all the way.
All the mistakes that life can give, they finally will fade away.
You can’t forget that you’re not ashamed,
Of being the person that you are today.”

The Bike Ride Story

Drowning in the wind that hits you,
Swearing at the mudholes on the road.
The speed slowly devours you; makes you wonder,
The veins harden, your pulse weakens; your abode.


Without wings you can fly now,
Without drinking, you can be high now.
The asphalt hardness helps softening your thoughts,
It doesn’t matter ‘cos without thinking you can dream now.


Sunrise and sunsets passsby in a haze of dust,
All guilt and surprise turns into rubble of mud.
The moon’s rays and the sun’s gaze; laugh at our foolishness.
Friends, family and your love tear you down like a flood.


More I cry; give me more of fucking adrenaline,
Let me die; let me die while waiting in this fucking feeling.
Cleanse myself of past and future; be submerged in only the present.
Let me stay; in this ocean of sailing soul.



Written on my wild trip to Pune on a bike....with just Aditya on my side...