Wish I could quit

A sudden rage,
A cunning sensation,
A drowning asphyxiation,
A buried inside craving,
A loud agitation,
A filter with smoke.
Unable to let it shave away,
Unable to clean the stench,
Fighting the lightning burning,
Troubling the veins in thought.
Attached to its every spell,
Lost in its myriad counts,
Flew in vain to the burning sun,
Normalcy forgotten, shyness lost.
Accused heavens,
Threw away spirituality,
Fought lords, in bored cause,
Confused eventuality.

Laughed with comrades of death,
Juggled my life for them,
Chiseling my own self,
With knives made of ash.
I wrote stories of the confusing smoke rings,
Inspiration, I seeker,
They blinded into,
Ha! They cried, I went deeper.