For two people, I wish they care more……..

It’s not nice to be nice.
There are no hiding places then.
Not many people appreciate it.
They give you directions for the wrong lane.

Admitting that you are just here.
Stagnant in this revolving world.
Just another speck of grain.
An everything of nothing, pale and dull.

Your senses beg you to feel its sensation.
Asks you to touch another soul.
Deep inside, your veins cast a fear.
You grow scare inside your shallow hole.

No one is black, white or gray.
No one wishes to wishes to be.
They develop into robots, skilled and lie-equipped.
Living life for people to see.

Forgive for god’s sake.
It’s not one of god’s pretty pictures.
We should have stayed as animals.
Without much worry or care for the world.

Child you are not, childish is your act.
If you want to play; play merry go round.
Don’t play with steely eyes.
It scares me, takes me back to my steel cage of bound.

It’s easy, you know for absolution.
A hug is all you may need.
They say small things come and go.
A flower blooms from one small seed.

This is a prayer I send to two people I hope things go well……wish they forget everything and kill their stupid reasons of contesting

Was listening to: “Teri Deewani” by Kailash Kher.

28^th August, 2007.

Apost

I drink more vodka than I drink water,
I smoke more cigarette smoke than the amount of air I breathe,
I eat more junk food than a normal person’s dinner,
I live more life than immortals.

I protest more than I speak,
I act more in crisis than actors,
I choke on words, more than people who call it conversation,
I screw up things more than a screw-driver.

I bottle up more than a coca-cola bottle with chili pizza,
I trouble you more than when we were in love,
I sing more than the number of songs sung,
I lie more to you than to myself.

I cough more own dreams than a cancer patient,
I stay awake more forcefully, hurting myself, than an insomnia patient,
I laugh more than a crying clown,
I cry more than a laughing clown.

I have dreamt more than the dreamer on the movies,
I slept more for those dreams than gods, who had nothing to do and made us,
I started more often than an athlete on his get-set mark,
I stopped more to start all over better.

Was listening to: “Shine on you Crazy Diamond” by Pink Floyd.

17^th of September, 2007.

If I believed in god, I would have prayed for this……

its sometimes difficult to not believe in god

Give me enough money to build a house with friendly bricks,
Paint it yellow, not blue.
Give me a teeth with which I can taste the flavors of living,
Drink summer’s rain, eat winter’s cold dew.

Give me a lift, with which I can reach the highest clouds,
Shout from there anything, forgetting everything.
Give me lightbolts of inspiration, with which I can write,
Fulfilling everything.

Give me the unraveling energy of migrating birds,
To see the end of the lonely earth.
Give me solitude of a lonely whale, flowing underwater,
Giving birth.

Give me knowledge, in hope that I don’t falter,
On anyone’s doorsteps.
Let them know I have read too, so that they take me,
So that they learn to accept.

Give me more space to speak my mind, more time to hear me.
Give me a mouth full of words,
Simple and articulate,
As much as I can be.

Give me songs to love and adore, not listen once and get bored.
Give me lyrics I can die for,
Tunes I can shout and dance and sing,
Till it hurts in my throat.

Give me maturity to live more than I can,
Enough for a few lifetimes.
Give me a magic potion of immortality,
With poetry and a sense of rhymes.

Give me satisfaction between grief and pain,
Something no one gets.
In foggy days we find romance,
Under the clouds, under kissing shades.

Give me companions to do the same old thing,
Again and again, untiring.
Let me heart swell up every time they fool around,
Happy in our grace. Thrilling.

Was listening to: "Glycerine" by Bush.

6th August, 2007. 11.50 P.M.

The king of all flying fishermen

Cheers!
The act of happiness in the sorrow of tears.

Far inside a beat stops to beat,
Hating itself for being a piece of meat,
Troubling itself of being cursed,
Lost in the funny circus of trust.

Hey!
Please can you come and join me in play.

Sing in the karaoke of my day.
Pay attention to what I say,
Choose for me the clothes I wear,
Engulf my torrid wilderness of fear.

Fuck you!
The words accompanying things you can’t chew.

Don’t turn on the lights when you ask darkness,
In this state, any light will blind in the brightness.
Don’t ask me to label you obscene,
The darkness’s going to fuck what you’ve seen…..
………..of what I’ve been, of what I’m becoming……..

Was listening to: “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
2^nd August, 2007. (don’t really remember the time)