I am happy..yes, Im...

With the days ticking away like an unseen time-bomb,
The days flying away like birds on the last day of migration,
The minutes of the days showing that its passing and fading away,
The finale of the day is here, and I am not really happy.

Distant is the only word I find for people I love,
The Christmas of happiness has deluded far beyond,
A simple state of arrogance has filled into every heart,
Maybe its me, but am I color blind or just plain ignorant.

Now I stand without a spine as strong as it used to,
Pray everyday that I find a leisure in living,
An ego as hard and as haughty as a bull,
The failures have descended and slowly walked by.

Touch of love and heart-break has made me a lot older,
The comforts of friendly hearts have made feel lighter,
The confidence to rise upto my folks expectations,
I have had my share of smoke and my share of being a bit higher.

Assuming that life will no longer be different,
It makes me make designs of my own life as it wants,
Cruelly and without even considering the repercussions,
Consciously I despise my dreams, unconsciously I am happy.

Whatever I have learnt and whatever I can learn,
I have forgotten it with the puff of a cigarette,
Care of remembering any of the nonsense,
Has left me brightening up.