The Adieu

The goodbye. Officially.

Oh, man, this sucks. I just got myself crying and smiling all over again at the prospect of leaving my college, my village, my place, my freedom, my hostel, my friends, my ideas, my dreams, my life, my room, my computer, my show, my happiness, my sadness, my fucking everything.

This is going to be one hell of a year. Uncertain in so many ways. Not just from the point of leaving college and going, but from the perspective of the new life which I am going to lead and follow. The whole concept, of beginning a new life scares the shit out my bollocks. Where will I find strength I find in the people around me. The joy when I am with them and also when I am not with them. The cunning embarrassing show downs everyday. The running around girls for the pleasure of being a young kid just fresh out of adolescence. The late than later studying for the worse exams. The drinking and the smoking and the pepsis and the teas. Millions of calls to the one you love dearly each time. Well, guess its going to be Adieu to all of those small petty but unforgettable and cherished things I had in the 4 years of my college. My college….the famous Indian Institute of Technology, Madras. Famous, nahhhhh…..its not that good. But, suited me. And that is what made me cry tonight.

There is going to be more tears and more crying by the time we finish out of here. But right now, I will contemplate to have more and more fun and a lot of happiness. Bliss, they say, goes to the one who doesn’t regret about what they did or they are gonna do. Well, I think I have found that bliss. Insurmountably. Abundantly. Unassumingly.

Right now, after Adieu ’07, my legs hurt after the 2 hours of dancing. My neck hurts from the unimaginable head-banging. My throat’s choked with the shouting and the cursing. My specks broken because of my silliness. My new t-shirt and my pants dirty from the rolling around. I smell worse than the fish market. My shirt’s wet with the sweat of my childishness. My eyes teary with the tears I don’t know how to show. And, my dick’s heavy with what I saw and touched today……..

26^th March….. I may never forget. But still 2 months to the end. The end, my friend, my end…….

26^th March, 2007. 00:55 A.M.