Young Man and the Sea

In the middle of an ocean of troubles.
The silvery water gazes at your gentle boat of travel.
The migratory birds cross you with a laugh for themselves.
You migrate on the hopeless boat of rubble.

Ripple; ripple….the union of man and boat rips through the water.
Searching for a dark island far away.
A place where he can rest his cloudy head.
Forget the nuisance while crossing the last bay.

The star show direction and lets him know that he is lost.
The diamond twinkles of lost hope.
Someone is still on the stars, with intention of help.
Crying for you; looking at you from a telescope.

A single hole will sink your boat to the rocky bottoms of the sea.
Like when a single hole in your chest sinks you.
The water of the cruel sea asphyxiates and kills you.
Like the tears in your heart, comes sinking you.

The call for help….”SOS”.
The waves of your radio fade in the growing storm that you have made.
Still you persist in sending out friendly message for help.
Till you learn to cry, till you have learnt to live in a morbid shade.

Was listening to: "Riders on the Storm" by The Doors.

17th of August, 2007. At office.......

What is Passion??

Was Romeo passionate about Juliet? Was king Leonidas of Sparta so passionate about his Sparta, that he lay down is life and the life of his infamous 300 for a cause which he knew was preposterous and utterly ridiculous? Was Einstein so passionate about science and physics that he let his theories take him for a ride of bad haircut and an aloof old age? Was Cobain so obsessed and passionate with creating music in his own world and his space that he had to die in the pressure the world forced onto him?

If that is what the definition of passion gets allied to…..then are we even a little passionate about anything? Is that the right definition of passion, then?

In my short life (most of which has I been spent wasting in futile dreams and wrong assessment), my passions have changed from being a Nobel-prize winner (for physics, by the way) to CEO of a music company. And it is more than normal, to have changing dreams and passions with the advent of age. But at a point, you start questioning yourself that what you dream about and what you crave deeply is meant for some inner happiness and nothing else. All in all, what you assume is passion, your fervor; your craze is a part of what the world wants you to be. A conspiracy that this universe plays with you to be something it wants you to be. Something you never wanted to be…something that you are missing completely…something that you have never started a search for…something that Leonidas or Einstein or Cobain had searched and found…or, maybe they didn’t, they just happened to think that they did.

Passion. What the fuck is it? I can safely say, at this moment of my life, I am passionate about what I write and what I show people on my blog. But is that what I want dearly? I must be crazy to die for something that I have not even searched looking for. I can probably die for inspiration and stimulation and a few drops of praise for what I write, but not to the extent of letting my life for it. But examples this world shows us about passion makes me shiver with the doubt that I have absolutely no passion or fervor in me. Romeo, Leonidas, Einstein and Cobain….they all died for the one thing that was common between them: the thing I can’t produce, the thing I question, the thing I probably lack.

They say when you have discovered what you want and then you go onto to have it in your grasp for a while, you can find magic sparks blow out from within you. Has that ever happened with anyone? I hope it has. I hope I get it too. Not now, but with time…think, I have enough of it with a whole lifetime to live.

For Anuja. Never lose your hope, it sucks...…but it’s good and out there somewhere….

Was listening to: “Smells like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana.

3^rd October, 2007.